Guiding Light
by savkitty
Summary: Haruhi can't shake the feeling that she will never have the attention of the host she admires most. Slightly AU version of the Anime. [First chapter has been rewritten & extended]
1. Part 1: Deviance

**Guiding Light**

 **Part 1**

 **...**

Haruhi woke feeling cold. A glance at the cool light filtering through her window told her that it was much earlier than even she would dare to wake. Too early to be practical. She pulled the blankets tighter around her shoulders.

She knew the cold wasn't the only culprit. This was the second time this week she'd struggled to find sleep. She was usually so adherent to her own sleep cycle. It was the only thing she could use to keep herself on track. It had been something she taught herself to do during junior high, but the new and unexpected challenges she found at Ouran caused her to rely on this tool more than ever. And now it was failing her. Her dreams didn't seem to care about the careful planning she had done.

She groaned outwardly before turning over and burying her face into her pillow. She felt like a clichéd schoolgirl. She noted that she was, in fact, a schoolgirl. And while that couldn't be helped, she had begun to pride herself more and more on her practicality in hopes of forever avoiding activities that would make her seem clichéd. But just like her dreams, her predilection for practicality seemed to have betrayed her as well.

Somehow she pushed herself back to sleep by counting down from a hundred. She felt her thoughts settle as soon as she neared the seventies. And then she found sleep again.

The walk to school felt a bit more tedious than usual. The sound of her alarm and the warmer light filling her bedroom had put an uneasy smile on her face for most of the morning. At least her earlier deviance hadn't kept her from staying on schedule physically. Though her mind still seemed to be catching up. She hoped a stimulating discussion in one of her first periods would provide her with the energy she needed to get back in sync and survive the length of the day ahead of her. Early morning philosophy and mathematics, a hopefully uneventful lunch, followed by afternoon classes would be easy to get through. It would be those last few hours in the third music room that would challenge long afternoons were part of her new routine, which by some miracle she had become accustomed to. It would only become more challenging if the antics normally corralled within the music room decided to bleed out into the rest of her day. It happened occasionally in small ways, which she could also handle. It was the larger and more outrageous ideas that Tamaki was permitted to pursue that truly gave Haruhi moments to consider drastic action. Maybe even a risky escape from the country, sans passport. She felt a slight shiver run down her spine as she imagined it all. And then she dwelled a little longer than needed on the image of

Those long afternoons were part of her new routine, which by some miracle she had become accustomed to. It would only become more challenging if the antics normally corralled within the music room decided to bleed out into the rest of her day. It happened occasionally in small ways, which she could also handle. It was the larger and more outrageous ideas that Tamaki was permitted to pursue that truly gave Haruhi moments to consider drastic action. Maybe even a risky escape from the country, sans passport. She felt a slight shiver run down her spine as she imagined it all. And then she dwelled a little longer than needed on the image of light reflecting off a pair of glasses. More shivers.

She hugged her books closer to her chest as she passed through the school gates. She shook her head, hoping this would help her clear her mind of both sleep and distracting images.

"Hah-roo-hi!"

She could already feel the weight of the two-man chorus on each shoulder before the twins caught up to her. Her day had officially begun.

 **…**

Haruhi felt almost lucky as she walked towards the club room. The events of her early morning had given her a sense that things would only be getting worse. But somehow she had made it through the day relatively unscathed. The twins had been attempting to bother her for most of the day, but she had stayed collected. Once in the hall, they had run into Tamaki. He was alone and quickly became distracted with Hikaru's taunts before he could truly distract his intended victim. So Haruhi experienced a rather peaceful stroll to class with Kaoru. Hikaru trailed behind, making sure that Tamaki failed to experience a moment alone with the fictitious daughter he had created.

As she approached the door to the music room she pondered the attention she received from the boys. She reasoned that if she didn't get so much attention from girls because of her host status, she might be less bothered by the attention she got from Tamaki and the twins. The other women seemed to enjoy their attention, basically paying to experience it. In another universe maybe she would be interested as well.

Just as she was bracing herself for whatever was beyond the club doors, they burst open. Haruhi was swallowed up by the wailing antics of her "daddy." She tried to move past him on her own but was instead ushered away by the equally animated twins. She struggled to hold onto her book bag in the midst of the commotion.

"What's going on?" she asked. She tried to emphasize her exasperation as much as possible. She had been experimenting, hoping at some point she would come up with the right tone of voice to get them to calm down during moments like this. So far she'd had no luck.

"Milord! You're only making it worse," the twins announced.

"Haruhi won't like you any better if you act like that," Hikaru piped up above Tamaki's exaggerated wails. He looped his arm around the back of her neck.

"It's true, milord. She may not be weak to your hosting skills, but that doesn't mean she wants this kind of childish behavior." Kaoru chimed in, grabbing her waist with one arm and using his other hand to pat her on the head as if she were a pet. "Isn't that right Haru?"

Haruhi made an unsuccessful attempt to dodged Kaoru's hand.

Tamaki froze, his pouting and tear-filled eyes turned to anger at the sight of the twins wrapping their arms around her. "How dare you perverts molest my daughter!"

She rolled her eyes. She knew nothing of importance could really have caused these overplayed antics between the three most immature members of the club.

"Haru-chan! Haru-chan! Will you help me with the cakes?"

Haruhi felt a tug on her book bag. The twins loosened their grip on her so she could turn to look at Huni-senpai. She wondered how the twins and Tamaki managed to explain their own behavior. The loli-shota host put them to shame with his own maturity.

"Of course, Huni-Senpai!" she said. She jumped at any chance to get away from the commotion. He beamed up at her in response. The twins begrudgingly removed themselves from her, clearly outwitted by the necessity of her new task. She didn't know if he was saving her on purpose or not, but either way, she was thankful. She gave Huni a smile in appreciation before following him towards the back room. Behind her, the arguing continued.

"Not that it matters to me…"

Tamaki's emotional tirade seemed to quiet quicker than Haruhi thought possible. Their heads turned towards the doors to the club room.

Kyouya.

"...but we have guests arriving soon, and I doubt you want to continue this argument about your darling daughter with them around."

While his words were practical, it was really the sound of his voice, which seemed to quiet and calm the room. The three seemed to mutter responses in agreement. Haruhi could hear Tamaki recover quickly and then sputter something about the twins endangering "his poor daughter's secret." However, she wasn't really paying attention. Her gaze was fixed on the light glaring off of Kyouya's glasses.

 **…**

In the few weeks she had been attending Ouran Academy, Haruhi Fujioka was almost certain that she might find herself receiving a better education at a public institution. The trappings of her scholarship status at Ouran were slowing showing to be more superficial. She yearned for this high school because she believed she would find like-minded individuals who were looking to achieve great things. But if her first interactions with students at this school told her anything, most of these students were benefiting from the great achievements of their parents. They were using their time at Ouran to meet expectations of academic success but filled the majority of their time with socializing without looking to reach for any higher goals. That was until she met the Host Club: a group that on the surface seemed to confirm what she believed about all of the gossiping students littering Ouran Academy. However, she began to see hope in one member in particular.

In the beginning, he gave her the chills. Something about the rumored dark aura that followed him and the ominous sound of his pen scribbling ferociously across his ever-present notebook-and the implications of what he might be writing-didn't instill confidence in any future relationship they might share. He also seemed to find her amusing, as if her commoner existence at his fine establishment of learning was just part of some show. But after a few weeks in his presence, the sound of his voice started to send a different kind of chill down her spine.

Unlike many of the young women and men who filtered through her days at Ouran, this man didn't waste time on trivial matters. Or at least not as often as most. There were the many host club related activities that seemed to only exist to waste time and encourage Tamaki to create more of them. But other than those strange indulgences that he gave up for Tamaki, Kyouya's work ethic was something she couldn't even rival. And so Haruhi found herself in a position she had never been before: distracted by a boy.

It wasn't a crush though. In junior high and even elementary school, Haruhi had heard her fellow classmates talk about boys. Crushes were always the biggest culprit for distracting other girls. She had never understood it. While the objects of their affection still perplexed her-she couldn't find much reason to be attracted to any of the boys she attended junior high with-she now understood the nature of their predicament. Even calling him a distraction didn't accurately capture what Kyouya Ootori had become to her.

So she had spent the last few days thinking seriously about her predicament. Haruhi wasn't sure when her complicated feelings for Kyouya began to develop. From the very beginning, she found herself literally drawn to Kyouya's presence. Despite the fear that his attention often created within her, she could remember something akin to comfort standing next to him that first day, and each day after that. It was his all-knowing tone, his confidence in his own word, which felt reassuring as she stepped into his world. A world that she had only begun to understand.

It was despite his own warnings about the almighty nature of his private police force and the power of his familial influence that she continued to turn to him. And why wouldn't she? While he was often the source of anxiety about her debt, he was also the source of both knowledge and calm, two things she had always valued. Nowadays she cherished the latter more than she would have thought possible. Which was why she was able to confidently tell herself that this wasn't a crush, but instead a rare type of friendship developing between based on mutual interests and values. It didn't need a label.

 **…**

The following week, Haruhi walked into the club room feeling more optimistic about the day and her life. She has a relaxing and productive weekend. With exams looming, her brain managed to stay on track. Not too many distractions. She felt prepared for whatever the boys planned to throw at her. Over dramatic scenarios and costumes couldn't threaten her mood or composure. Unfortunately, her disposition changed rather quickly. By Wednesday she found herself standing beside Kyouya, overlooking chaos with a tin of slightly burnt cookies in her hands.

"Kyouya-senpai…"

He looked down at her, tearing his eyes from the slim notebook resting in his hands.

"Yes, Haruhi?"

"While I understand there are benefits to making her happy for your family's business, I would assume this is more of a nuisance than you would be willing to put up with."

She watched a smile tug at his lips as he looked from her to the commotion before them. Tamaki was pitching potential "lonely" one-liners to an overzealous Renge. Meanwhile, the twins were helping Mori-senpai calm Hani with cake and cute things.

"This does look like it will be a nuisance, doesn't it?" he said.

Haruhi expected him to say something more on the subject, but he didn't. So together they stood, watching the drama play out before them.

 **...**

The week was consumed by Renge's antics and her overbearing personality. At first, Haruhi felt jealous of the girl. But it disappeared almost as quickly as it came. Business. That was all she was to Kyouya. Not a love interest and certainly not someone he saw as an equal on any level. Though Haruhi did begin to harbor a little envy towards the other woman for the way Kyouya did his best to appease her. The lengths he went to make her happy, and with the same kindness he showed their customers, made Haruhi unhappy. He would never do that for her. There was nothing to gain. But she began to notice how he seemed to avoid Renge, allowing her to put her attention on the other members of the club. Haruhi's envy quickly turned to pity.

Renge was a passing event. And by the end of the week, Haruhi was exhausted but things were back to normal. She could be friends with this girl, who had clearly come to terms with her affection for Kyouya. And much to Haruhi's enjoyment, Kyouya had put an end to his campaign of appeasement towards the club's new "manager."

The week did leave Haruhi wondering if she could ever find her way into to a similar position. One where she would no longer be meritless in his eyes. What would she have to become to gain his attention? She knew he wasn't going to give her a clue as to what that might be. It was disheartening.

 **…**

"Haruhi… Haruhi?"

Haruhi looked up from the tray in her hands. Kyouya was standing before her. On another day she might have jumped at the sight of him. But today she was too tired and too lost in thought. She didn't know how long she had been standing there. She had been getting drinks for a couple of guests and that was all she could remember.

"You've been standing there for a while," he said. His arms were crossed and his stance was expectant. But his face seemed to convey some concern. The sounds of the busy club activities surrounding the two of them slowly filtered back in as she studied his face.

"Is everything okay?"

"S-sorry Kyouya-senpai. I guess my mind wandered off."

"I'm sure that's nearly cold now," he said, motioning to the tray of teacups filled with instant coffee. "Here."

He took the tray from her hands. As her grip lessened on it, her hands began to shake visibly. She had noticed that happening more and more as of late. The later into the day, the more her hands trembled. She saw him look at her hands and then to her. She avoided his gaze.

"You don't have any requests for the rest of the day. Why don't you go lay down in the back."

"Don't I have another group in a few minutes?"

"Haruhi, get some rest. You're not any use to me if you're this tired," he said with a final tone to his voice.

He stared at her until she conceded, and walked to the back room. She could feel his eyes still on her and she wondered at his strangely compassionate actions. Of course, her being completely in another world wasn't good for business. But his concern seemed genuine. For someone who rarely could be described as genuine, Haruhi decided to take it as a positive sign in her favor to experience such a thing. Maybe there was hope for them yet.

* * *

A/N: Hello! Thank you for reading the first part of my story. It's been years and years since I've written anything. If you are a returning reader, I apologize. I posted the first part of this story and then realized the direction I wanted to take it wasn't going to work. So instead of being 14 shorter and stranger chapters, this will be a 5 or 6 part story with updates every week or so. I hope you enjoy my first attempt at writing a fic for my OTP. I never dared do it before.

Thank you to my first reviewers - ya'll are beautiful and kind people who make my heart happy :)


	2. Part 2: Romance

DISCLAIMER: Welcome to part 2 of Guiding Light! Just a heads up, if you're returning after reading Part 1 when I published it in October, it has changed a lot and has been combined with other chapters. So you might want to go back and read that. Or not. Up to you! :)

* * *

 **Guiding Light**

 **Part 2**

 **...**

Kyouya knew he had too much work to do to appease Tamaki's request. Taking a vacation day in celebration of midterm exams passing was out of the question. But he managed to turn it into a workday for himself while finding a practical use for the uncontrollable energy of his friends. They could be test subjects. He could be productive. That was really the only way he could truly justify any semblance of relaxation. And that was how he found himself sipping a drink by the pool while watching Haruhi's unique interactions with Morinozuka Takashi.

While his interest in the new member of their club had been growing, he had been distracted for most of the morning and afternoon. The twins and Tamaki had managed to monopolize her attention and time, as per usual. He hoped this might mean Tamaki was taking his relationship into his own hands, but Kyouya wasn't about to hold his breath. He was typically charged with making Tamaki's big ideas and dreams a reality. Originally that had only applied to weekend sightseeing trips, procuring a kotatsu and the founding of clubs. However, his breadth of responsibility seemed to now cover romance as well; it was another area that his best friend enjoyed fantasizing about but struggled to execute on his own.

Kyouya had spoken with Haruhi briefly. Like on any day she had found her way to his side to inquire about the new predicament she found herself in. Admittedly, he felt a little pleased to see that she didn't appear as exhausted as she had in the past weeks. He could report that to her father, for which he knew Ranka would give him undeserved credit.

"Kyouya-kun..." Ranka had sung over the phone during one of their previous weekly updates, "why do I feel like there is something you're not telling me?"

"You're imagining things, Ranka-san," he had chided, with a smile in his voice.

"Well then, maybe you can tell me why is my little girl looking so tired? Should I be even more worried than usual?" he asked.

Kyouya could hear him pouting through the phone. Never having met the man in person, it would have been hard to imagine. Lucky for Kyouya, he had a more tangible version of Ranka posing as Haruhi's father around him on a daily basis. Tamaki's antics were less justifiable, but the emotional resemblance was often uncanny.

He assured Haruhi's real father that he didn't think he had anything to worry about. He had noticed a shift in Haruhi's behavior within weeks of her joining the club. She was a little less awake. She seemed burdened by something. But he knew, almost as well as her father did, that Haruhi was a practical girl. She valued her independence, but she would certainly confide in her father if something were seriously wrong. It was good to see that the end of midterm exams might have brought her some well-earned sleep. He could always count on her company, and that hadn't changed. While she had clearly grown accustomed to the club, she still sought him out for advice.

When he first began to contact Ranka, his main objective was information with a hint of genuine curiosity. Firstly he needed to confirm her situation: how common was this commoner really? Could she afford to pay at all? However, the scholarship student did catch his interest and as he spoke to Ranka more and more, he grew fonder and more interested in the young woman. His interest was also driven by the hopelessness of his best friend. He was clearly falling for the newest addition to their strange family but was unable to properly express his feelings. This lack of clarity didn't stop him from making it clear that he needed Kyouya's help.

Through the eyes of her father, Kyouya began to see a fuller picture of Haruhi Fujioka: a picture of her that he couldn't capture by scribbling in his black book or during hours of independent research. Her father's adoring perspective had become paramount in his new view of this woman. It was a rare perspective to have, making her unquantifiable in comparison to the others who filtered in and out of his life.

Continuing to charm Ranka and keep him happy was important. They were, after all, having his 15-year-old daughter work off a relatively enormous debt while encouraging her to continue to masquerade as a boy, effectively deceiving all but a handful of people in her life. It wasn't illegal by any means. But the hassle any misstep in managing that information could create wasn't worth the trouble or potential scandal. It was quite a bit easier, and admittedly more amusing and educational, to keep charming her father.

And so, knowing the smitten trio would monopolize her attention, he let his work distract him for the rest of the afternoon. That was until he began to notice Haruhi, Mori, and the number of moments they were sharing together. Each seemed to increase in a certain level of intimacy that Kyouya was pretty sure she had not had with any other members of the club. The initial sharing of a drink wasn't cause for distress. But then there was another exchange between them during the artificial monsoon. Unsettled by his own mixed feelings toward the height challenged couple, he turned his attentions towards finding Huni-senpai quickly so Mori-senpai could be reunited with his cousin and hopefully no longer need his Haruhi to stand in as a surrogate.

But then they were gone.

Kyouya had watched Haruhi interact with other members of their group many times. She almost always seemed to avoid spending unnecessary extra time with Tamaki and the twins, even going as so far as to keep physical distance when possible. The idea of her choosing to be alone with any member of that overbearing trio seemed out of the question. In fact, up to that moment, he had taken it for granted that he was the only member of the club that she ever sat or spoke with on a regular basis. But now Mori-senpai was getting this treatment?

He didn't mind, but he did find it notable. They had both just gone to look for Huni-senpai. Mori out of familial instinct and Haruhi out of empathy with his situation. Which was innocent enough in his mind. Until he put in a request to have surveillance tapes from that day at the park sent to him for further analysis of test run he had executed. The sight of Haruhi in Mori's arms? He still didn't mind. But Tamaki had his heart set on this girl. Helping his friend obtain his unspoken desire would meet challenges if Mori became a rival suitor. He and Haruhi were certainly more similar in personality. But it was early days yet. So he just made a note of it, for future reference.

 **…**

It was his desire to be such a good friend to the enigmatic but romantically challenged Tamaki that put him in the situation he was in now.

Kyouya had been lying on Tamaki's bed for what felt like an eternity. Waiting in anticipation for his best friend to come back at any moment, brimming with emotions about what Haruhi said to him. He was prepared for a story about how, once again, Tamaki failed to win the heart of the girl he insisted on treating like a daughter. That's what always happened. But so far he had waited in vain, and more time passed that he knew Tamaki was sharing with Haruhi. Alone.

Every time he closed his eyes her saw the look on her face. So still and trusting. Bewitching. She bought into almost everything he had sold her thus far. Merit and business and his philosophy for life. And she consented to him, admitting her own mistakes. She listened to the lesson she thought he was trying to teach. But at the last moment, she threw a wrench into the works. She thought he was being kind by playing the villain. If she had put more thought into it, she would be able to deduce that he could have taught her that lesson in any manner of ways. He hadn't needed to pin her on his bed. He wasn't even sure why he'd done it. That came from somewhere else. It was more impulse than he was used to. He never did anything like that.

He was angry. Where was Tamaki? After all of that had happened between the two of them that day, could he still manage to charm this girl? He wasn't that confident in Tamaki's abilities. But as he looked at the clock he doubted his harsh assumptions more and more.

She had been with _him_ , dressed like that, with those eyes.

He felt tired, frustrated, but not ready succumb to sleep. Where was Tamaki? He finally sat up and adjusted his clothing before leaving the room. He could get the twins to deal with it. Whatever was happening in that room, with just a few words, he was sure they would put an end to it. There was no need for him to play the villain for the second time.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading the second part of Guiding Light. I hope my writing style doesn't bore anyone. I feel like my later chapters will have more dialogue and action. I plan to update at least one more time this month.


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